say about是什麼意思
04：34
Gaslighting is a word that‘s used a lot in the media these days， but what does gaslighting actually mean？
Gaslighting 是近來媒體中經常使用的一個詞，但 Gaslighting 到底是什麼意思呢？
The term originates from the Patrick Hamilton’s original 1939 stage play， “Gaslight，” where a husband psychologically manipulates his wife。
這個詞起源於帕特里克·漢密爾頓 1939 年的原創舞臺劇《煤氣燈》，其中丈夫在心理上操縱妻子。
In the story， the husband attempts to convince his wife that she is insane by manipulating small elements of their environment and insisting that she is mistaken，
remembering things incorrectly when she points out the changes he makes。
在這個故事中，丈夫試圖透過操縱他們環境中的小元素並堅持認為她錯了，當她指出他所做的改變時記住了錯誤的事情來說服他的妻子她瘋了。
The play‘s title alludes to how the abusive husband slowly dims the gaslights in their home while pretending nothing has changed in an effort to make his wife doubt her own perceptions。
該劇的標題暗示了施暴的丈夫如何慢慢調暗家裡的煤氣燈，同時假裝什麼都沒有改變，以使他的妻子懷疑自己的看法。
Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse where someone leads you to question your own reality， memory， or perceptions。
煤氣燈照明是一種情感虐待，有人會引導您質疑自己的現實、記憶或看法。
So here are 10 examples of what gaslighting can sound like。
所以這裡有 10 個煤氣燈聽起來像的例子。
As a disclaimer， we want to note that not everyone who says these phrases is automatically a gaslighter。
作為免責宣告，我們要注意並不是每個說這些話的人都自動成為打火機。
Gaslighting is intentional and a gaslighter knows exactly what they’re saying and what they‘re doing。
煤氣燈操作是有意為之的，煤氣燈操作者確切地知道他們在說什麼和在做什麼。
One， “What did I do to you？” If someone responds to you this way， they may genuinely not know what they have done and are asking you about it。
一，“我對你做了什麼？”如果有人以這種方式迴應你，他們可能真的不知道自己做了什麼，而是在問你這件事。
But when it’s gaslighting， they are aware they have done something to hurt you and are pretending to play dumb。
但是當它在煤氣燈下時，他們意識到他們做了一些傷害你的事情並且假裝裝傻。
In defensively posing this question to you， they are denying the impact they had on you and are also forcing you to question it。
在防禦性地向你提出這個問題時，他們在否認他們對你的影響，同時也在迫使你質疑它。
Two， “Everyone around you isn‘t the problem， the problem is you。” This is sometimes used as a way to shut down the conversation or dialogue for whatever is happening。
第二，“你周圍的每個人都不是問題，問題是你。”這有時被用作關閉正在發生的任何對話或對話的一種方式。
This type of language is often referred to as victim blaming，
where the gaslighter will make statements that cause you to feel like you are the problem， even when you have fallen victim to something such as bullying or abuse and the situation is outside of your direct control。
這種型別的語言通常被稱為受害者責備，
即使當您成為欺凌或虐待等事情的受害者並且情況超出您的直接範圍時， 打火機的人也會發表宣告讓您覺得自己是問題所在控制。
Three， “I’m sorry you feel that way。” When someone‘s hurt you and they say something like this， than it is not a true apology。
第三，“我很抱歉你有這種感覺。”當有人傷害了你並且他們說這樣的話時，那不是真正的道歉。
Instead， it’s a way to make you feel like you are the problem。
相反，這是一種讓你覺得自己就是問題所在的方法。
They say that they‘re sorry that you feel the way you do rather than apologizing for what they’ve done or how they made you feel。
他們說他們很抱歉你有這樣的感覺，而不是為他們所做的事情或他們給你的感覺道歉。
Four， “I don‘t remember saying that。
四，“我不記得說過那樣的話。
I think you made that up。” This is the go-to phrase that a gaslighter will use to intentionally get you to question your experience， behavior， and thoughts in order to take the focus off of them。
我認為這是你編造的。”這是煤氣燈打火機用來故意讓你質疑自己的經歷、行為和想法的常用短語，以便將注意力從它們上移開。
Five， “It’s your anxiety that made me do the things I do。” This is a common response when a gaslighter gets called out for their behavior。
五，“是你的焦慮讓我做了我所做的事情。”當打火機因其行為被點名時，這是一種常見的反應。
They use this as a reason to justify their own negative behavior when in fact， they should take responsibility for their own actions instead of choosing to blame you。
他們以此為理由為自己的消極行為辯護，而事實上，他們應該為自己的行為負責，而不是選擇責怪你。
Six， “You need help。” This term is used to imply that you are the problem and that you need to address your issues rather than them having to work through their own issues。
六、“你需要幫助”。這個詞用來暗示你就是問題所在，你需要解決你的問題，而不是他們必須解決他們自己的問題。
This is a shutdown response to avoid working things through with you。
這是一個關閉響應，以避免與您一起解決問題。
Seven， “It‘s your fault。” People who gaslight will neglect any responsibility for their actions or for a situation。
七、“都是你的錯”。開煤氣燈的人會忽視對他們的行為或情況的任何責任。
Instead， they will directly blame others。
相反，他們會直接責怪別人。
This can be a repetitive cycle where you may be made to feel like something is your fault even if it isn’t。
這可能是一個重複的迴圈，您可能會覺得某件事是您的錯，即使事實並非如此。
You may even apologize for things that aren‘t your fault to make peace with them。
你甚至可以為那些不是你的錯的事情道歉，以便與他們和解。
Eight， “You’re too emotional。” This implies that your characteristics are seen as flaws。
八、“你太情緒化了”。這意味著您的特徵被視為缺陷。
And this can make you question your own sense of who you are。
這會讓你質疑自己對自己的看法。
Nine， “It‘s not a big deal。” People who gaslight have a tendency to minimize the impact that something has on you。
九、“沒什麼大不了的”。喜歡煤氣燈的人傾向於將某事對你的影響降到最低。
They may make you feel like you’re making a bigger deal out of something， when you are within your right to talk about things that are bothering you and express yourself openly。
當您有權談論困擾您的事情並公開表達自己的想法時，它們可能會讓您覺得自己在做一件大事。
10， “Why are you so defensive all the time？
10、“你為什麼總是這麼防備？
You‘re attacking me。” This is a common phrase used when you challenge a gaslighter。
你在攻擊我。”這是你挑戰打火機時常用的短語。
They have a tendency to flip the conversation towards you and make it out like you are the one who is in the wrong by accusing you of being defensive and that you’re attacking them。
他們傾向於將談話轉向您，並透過指責您防禦和攻擊他們來表明您是錯誤的人。
Then they become the victim。
然後他們就成了受害者。
Do any of these phrases sound familiar to you？
這些短語中的任何一個聽起來很熟悉嗎？
These are only some of the things a gaslighter will say to you。
這些只是打火機會告訴你的一些事情。
You may have heard these before or even said them yourself，
but this does not necessarily mean you have been gaslighted or that you are a gaslighter。
您可能以前聽過這些， 甚至自己也說過，
但這並不一定意味著您曾被煤氣燈點燃或您是煤氣燈點燃者。
Gaslighting is intentional and a gaslighter knows full well what they‘re saying and what they are doing。
煤氣燈是故意的，煤氣燈操作者非常清楚他們在說什麼和在做什麼。
We encourage you to seek help or guidance if you suspect that gaslighting has played a role in your life。
如果您懷疑煤氣燈在您的生活中發揮了作用，我們鼓勵您尋求幫助或指導。